Sun, sea and shenanegans on my island paradise

You know kidders, theres times here when I have really asked myself what the f*ck I'm doing here... faster than a rat out of aquaduct I'm reminded about how much of a lucky young sucky I am! I spent the weekend on a last minute jaunt to the Perhentian Islands with some wet round the ears Russio/German intern from the sister company here. F8ck we had an amazing time... In true Emma stylee we turned up to the check-in desk 10 mins before take off, me reassuring the 'German' that its "fine", I'd "done it loads of times" and that "rules are meant to be broken...(you GERMAN!)." As you can all probably imagine this was about as fruitless as a prostitute working a Eunichs conventionation, and the youngster was sweating all into his Power Rangers PJs. When we got there however, Captain Emma of ship f*ck up was 'luckily' informed that there were people as incompitent as herself and that the plane was delayed by 3 hours.

When we arrived in Kota Bahru we stayed in shit hole numero uno - take a look at 'bed in shithole' and 'shithole in shithole'... the place sold massive bottles of Tiger BOOZE though so who cares. I didn't by the time I'd passed out on the damp matress and moldy pilllows!






Who gives a rusty shovel of possum poo about that when Paradise is waitin! Seriously cannot get enough of these islands! It is truely heaven on earth in a Belinda Carlisle way ooh heaven IS a place on earth baby. I'd have loved to take you all there as it is just the BOMB (F*CKIN AAAAAAA!) but I can't so you'll have to make do with the pics. Did bearly anything apart from sunbathe, snorkell, swim and sink any beer that was unlucky enough to cross my path, as you do like. Stunning.










We went on a jungle trek and I managed to get us lost which was seriously not funny. As you lot who prob have all seen Lost are aware, when you're lost in one of those babies its hasta la vista and all kinds of KRAZZEE characters may jump out from the darkness in hunt for your spleen or the map to buried treasure! Luckly enough the youngster was able to rather gentlemanly point out my mistake and put us back on the path... Not far out of scout age so I should have let him lead in the first place...

On the way back we saw some 'real life' travellers swapping 'real' travelling stories which was really the highlight of the trip. The Canadian ones even had Canada patches on their back packs! Ace! Boy, those guys REALLY know how to travel... I'd like to impart to you specific anecdotes they traded, but I think I'd rather spend time stabbing my own eyes out with kintting needles than trying to recall their humourless diatribe. I could have a good old rantarooney about these creatures - but whats the point its old hat, everyone knows they're all supercilious cunts. Beads and a vodka red bull anyone? Even the Arkela the wonder scout found it tiresome and he's young enough to be impressed with their worldly ways...




Most magnificently we were treated to a swim-by by the local dolphin which was amazing, I've never sen wild dolphins before and they looked pretty f*ckin cool.. perfecto! I wouldn't like go out looking for a terminal illness to bag a free trip to swim with them like but yeah I can see the attraction..

better get back to what I do best.. NOTHING!