Legs slapped by Mikey B

Errrr... OOOPPPS My legs are stinging from a firm old slapping. No not from any of the lederhosen clad creatures from the fatherland that I work with, but from my Dad. My Dad Big Mikey B, (Not so) Fat Mike (nowadays), Homer or as my Mum knows him "that ar5ehole your Dad" (apparently its an affectionate Chinese Malay term...not so sure) who vowed never to read this blog again because of my as he calls it the "over colourful use of the vernacular."

Let it be known friends that my failure to master the English language enough as to not pepper it with expletives when I can't find adequately descriptive expressions, is not the result of being dragged up in a Wigan backstreet on a diet of said expletives, Uncle Joes Mint balls and Pooles Pies by a mean Chinese witch and a docile Northern Monkey, but rather my own laziness and impressionability. The totally amazing parents I have barely heard utter a swear word and me, well I just don't listen and am still in that 'REbel against your parents phase' HELL YEAH WHOOP WHOOP ... well maybe more stuck in the "if I ignore them they'll stop nagging" phase.

So for the benefit of my Mum and Dad who I love and respect beyond any word that my lazy, and even no so lazy mind could muster, I will make a concerned effort to tone the language down. You can without fear of a f*ck, Sh1t or B*llocks jumping out for the page and wresttling you to the ground into submission in a Hulk Hogan (see pic)





head lock, can enjoy my self indulgent ramblings with the rest of the community of people that enjoy the company of the first (and BEST) spwan of your loins.

For those who have not met the other two most important people in my life (after the cat and the dead dog- jesting bros), the comedy duo known as my parents, The Krankies, Brian Potter and The Romulan, they rock and don't deserve to miss out on the FABULOUS and MAGNIFICENTLY INTERESTING goings on and musings of their ONLY (I'll say that again) ONLY daughter (all the jewelry to me Mum).